18
7th January
Millennia Institute
Half-Portugese, Half-Malay

Shall we cross paths again? I do not know.

08S3

Adilah<33
Afini<33
Alysha<333
Amie<33
Amira<3
Annisa<33

D<33
DiyanaKC<3
Diyana<3

Fared<3
Fee(:

Hafiz(:
Hakim<33

Kak Fatin<3

Lyza<3

Ming Li<33

Nazrina<33

Reyza(:

Sadelena<3
Shersha<33
Sheryl<33
Shima<33

Zahara<33

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It Gets Harder Whenever You Decide To Turn Around

When everything decides to make a go at you, all you need is the strength to face it. Unfortunately, strength does not come easily. How does one appear strong but truly weak inside? No, strength does not mean looking strong. It means to have a sense of patience to face an obstacle and face it without a perimeter of humble subjects. Strength is the combination of independence, responsibility, courage, tolerance and humility.

I recall an incident where strength was put to the test. Life could not be more blissful than it already was. Everything was there, everyone was there. All that could be done was to show them equal care and love. But that never happened. Love was undivided. One received it but took it for granted. With his charming grin, he could have melt any girl, lady or woman who passed by him. And he did. Many wanted to get a hold of his personal life, but some just stayed meekly in love.

It could have been the best. No, greatest. But all turned to undesired fate. Twice broken by the man who holds the charming grin. Ego tore us apart, twice. The mission to break down the walls of emotion was the most difficult to overcome. No one wishes to get hurt or hurt someone. It's worse than piercing a sharp, jagged blade through the beating of life passing through thick piece of skin - slowly.

All that could keep the strength was prayer. A prayer that will guide, a prayer that will make you feel all better after a long day of pouring all your sorrows out.

&this is a dedication for the 26th of February. i know it's a lil bit early, but maybe i'll make another one? enjoy(:
xoxo
6:30 PM

lick it, lick it good.
this is what best friends do.
your illusion makes me smile.
by the way you smile, i'll make you mine.
nice legs.


xoxo
6:00 PM

I Can Never Be Perfect For YOU.
Yet, I don't really care.

Sometimes, after a day of hardwork you just feel like letting you hair down & just relax in the comfort of your own bed. After a day of fun & laughter, you just feel like reminiscing those moments. And all bad memories are being put aside for the good ones.

Yet, all the bad ones seems to have more control & power. You fail to forget about them, you have failed to save yourself. All that is left are tears. Crystal clear drops of tears. You feel like you've been trapped in a realm of hurt. Pure, vengeful hurt.

Gentle & unnoticed, there was an angel looking out for you. She/He was there when you've lost all sense of hope, she/he was there when you have been set ablaze by euphoria & she/he was even there when everyone was too busy to listen to you. The gratitude is temporary. Yet, she/he will always be there. She/he will take your hand when no one would & guide you with undeniable love that melts you from deep within, though it's hard for one to admit.

Why do we always turn to the angel for help when we need it most and turn away from him/her when our joys have been restored? Is there no more room for us to show more than just a little gratitude? Or is it because we are afraid of what others say? Why is it when we are deep in love, blinded by the joy it brings, we believe in the lies but deny the truth?

Life is full of altercations that are difficult to define by words. One can only feel it & conquer it with one's will, courage & power. Look around, find the angel that has shine its light on you everytime you turn to it. The one who picked you up when you fall, the one who guided you to the right path when you stray away, the one who dried your tears from deep within your heart & the one who restored your self-confidence when you have lost all hopes.

And mine, will always be right by my side. Be it day or night, she'll be there. I know it. It is not only the gratification that has been shown, though slightly(that, I am not afraid to admit. Once in a while, we don't realize it but we will in time to come). But it is the love that brought us closer and time that has shown she is the angel of mine.

Enlightened? I hope(: done by, me.
xoxo
8:32 PM

haha! i love this. i was drunk laa.
she took over my duty. &boy, am i glad.

It's Never The End.

it's been a week since i last updated?! gosh, i'm beginning to feel the sec 4 mood. my gawdd. okay whatever. i've so much to say. but nothing's gonna come into mind. ergh. hate it when i don't get online often. anw, got my hair cut again on wednesday. love it now(: totally.

went out with nabila &reyza yesterday. went shopping with kak idah when i was suppose to have tuition. oh well. nothing beats retail therapy(: haha. watched a movie called Ghost Tunnel. it was scary okay. well, the storyline is just abit dumb but the ghosts were like freaky. &if i continue with this kinda language. i'm gonna fail English. wish me luck!

&btw, as general. please understand that if i don't reply to any of your messages, i'm either busy or my phone's not with me. if i'm busy, my phone won't be with me. i'm so fed-up with people expecting me to reply asap. sorry, i'm NOT miss perfect.

&one more thing, haziq dearest. if you wanna be the perfect boyfriend, be FAITHFUL. example: not turning to me when your girlfriend decides to be busy and not be .. girlfriend-like with you.

my life's been much more complicated that you ever thought. had a quarrel with Mashita for my indecisive life. sorry for my old feelings, lovely.

but the best has always been there for me. my two bestest, Nabila &Diyana. thanks so much lovely!(: i'm gonna catch the Cheetah Girl II now. well, soon. because i didn't get to watch it yesterday. so yeah. tune in for more controversies.

&reyza, nice song !(:
xoxo
6:51 PM

Where dreams come true.

i went to Temasek Poly yesterday. darn, didn't catch Hady. went to late. met Intan &Celeste there. saw alotta familiar faces. then nabila &i met shah(guy, below). the three of us sat at one corner &chatted. funn la. haha. TP got kinda boring. so we headed to Orchard. it was super fun laa. had lotsa laughs. truly. i was hyper ! haha.

it.was.the.HOORAH

got sorta a migraine from nabila's specs. fashionable? i dunno. haha. makes me look like a space nerd. coz of it's metallic look. took pics along the way. shah is so crappy. somehow. somehow. somehow. yeah, it was drizzling. met shah's sister at far east. then she left. so the three of us went to eat at Cahaya Restaurant. boleh lah tahan. haha.

met his sis again at Wisma Atria. then she left. i was suppose to go play pool with Sufi &Abduh. but only sufi turned up. by then, nabila &shah left already. so it was just me &sufi. decided to go airport coz, i had to be there. ate at Macs. Sufi belanja-ed me(: haha. then, i met my relatives there.

i was super tired by then. so on the way home, in the car, i slept. nah-ais(:

when i have more outings like this, i'll let you know. coz right now, my karangan is undone, my literature essay is also not done &to top it all off, my maths locus drawings are not done(: also, it's 9.30++pm. tomorrow's a school day. lovin' the moment!

like the brother i never had(:
my bestest(:
she's NOT emo. serious.
step.tak lawa.action
space nerd & -
amateurs once again.
my bunchies.
my best friend.
schoolies. perfect.
xoxo
9:15 PM

sorry i couldn't update about yesterday. coz i came home at around 10+ after everything.

MASHITA'S BIRTHDAY !(:
18th January 'o7

i'm going to start from the beginning, okay? ok.

i felt super bad lying to her. but it's for the better, somehow. somehow. on Wednesday, went out with Aminah &Lyza to parkway to search for mashie's surprise birthday present. from MCS kinda thing. apparently, i forgotten to tell mashie that i couldn't go out with her. &Aminah asked where was i. &mashie got suspiscious. yeapp. aminah was denied everything. &mashie was kinda disappointed at aminah's reaction. so her sms-es had a cold tone. the three of us were like quite afraid that it wouldn't work out. at first it was quite. lyza didn't come to school. so i met her 7-11 &met aminah at parkway's 7-11. hmmm. okay nvm. haha. made our way to have lunch at Banquet. lyza treated me to lunch. after that, we were somewhat planning on what to do.

then we went to Hallmark. saw this bear(picture above). thought it was really cute. so we reserved that bear. then we went to sit at McCafe. saw fai. haha. okay nvm. then we planned all sorts of things. from Plan A to Plan D. haha. that's all we could come up with. we called diy to sms every tarianee about the plan. then i think mashie was really disappointed. haii. haha. she even switched off her phone. which made even MORE worried laa. time wasn't on our side. so we left. praying the plan would work.

tried to call mashie again. she hung up on me. then she text me. then i text her in a very sad tone. i was sad anyway. then she called me. then she was happy again(: that night, i made a video for her. as stated on the post below. haha. touching laa sia. okok chill. then i panicked somehow because i didn't know how to wrap her present i got for her. not the mcs present. the one i bought for her quite some time ago. haha. a Puma jacket(: nice la. i like. haha. so i painted a shoebox black. with gold marker , i decorated it. sadly, the paint kinda came off. good thing it didn't stain the jacket coz it's white. pure white. yeahhh. haha. it was 11.59pm and i was still painting the box. wished mashie at 1200hours. i think. or was it a minute earlier? nvm. haha.

went to sleep. excited. next day. like i said, the paint came off and stain my hand. ayyy. so i couvered it with my mcs shirt. good thing its black. haha. hugged mashie in the morning. gave her a kiss(: &continued with my life. gave her the present during recess. she was delighted(: of course mann, who wouldn't be. hahaha. but the best part was after school.

so like, after school. we had mcs meeting. quite .. i dunno what to say. really i don't. went to the other malay room to set up the video. brought diy in. then mashie came in &ask if we could dismiss the girls. omg! that was like super scary coz she wasn't even suppose to know. but she didn't laa. haha. lyza &fit distracted her. but the scariest part was when the projector had something wrong within. &the sound system couldn't work. brought all tarianess including annisa &co. haha. with mdm raudah &mdm maz. good thing cikgu sara was there to sort things out coz mashie &all can come any minute. switched off the light. mashie was screaming in joy. hugged lyza first. hmmm. nvm. haha. played the video. she sat at the front. we all laughed at all her funny moments. then in the end, i was the one crying. i was touched by my own video which didn't really had the spotlights on me. haha. after the video, everyone went back to the other room. mashie hugged me. wow. sweet(: haha. that was when i cried la. haha. i should go put the vid in youtube or something. haha.

then practice went on as usual. after that, changed &left for Swensen's.

this was somewhat fun laa. lyza &i walked right at the back. quite a distance from them. so that we can plan in peace. at parkway basement, we ran all the way to the shop. haha. got the bear. they took quite a long time to wrap it. haii. so me &lyz went to Prints to buy a card. wrote a message for her. then went back to get our bear. called Zea. &she was on her way. so that kinda was another surprise. haha. cool. met Zea at the entrance. at Prints, mashie called me. she was like.. DAMN pissed because we took quite a long time in the "toilet" .. yeah, right. haha. we hid the present at our backs with Zea in the middle. &totally surprised mashie. she was well, very surprised actually. quite alot of drama laa. haha.

had a nice time. that's all. we confessed about all the lies. just to make her really happy on her birthday. she was really happy with the present we got for her. ate the cake. sad diy left us. hmm. fit left us too. after that we went to parkway macs for dinner.showed the vid to Zea. still never failed to make us laugh out loud again(: haha. we love you, mashita!

all this drama.

today.

went out with nabila &haidar. well, i just ahd lunch with them. then i left. i dunno the ending though. gotta find out. haha. went to tampines mall ljs. let me tell you; i saw a shole lot of familiar faces. names are in the order of who i saw first.

Fared; fetched Ashriqah. ( outside kc ) took the same bus. made him salam me(: hahaha.

Nuri; at VS busstop when i was alighting. AHHHH!((: damn happy laa. haha.

That Guy Who Worked at Swensen's; erhh. nvm. ( tampines mrt station )

Faizrin &Apiz; Faizrin actually waved at me. ( tampines mall )

Wiro; eerhhh. i dunno. just saw him.

Ain; my dearest cousin. ( ljs ) miss her loads mann.

Zann; at the 65 lane. she didn't see me. sadly. haha.

xoxo
6:52 PM

wow. i took 2 hours to complete a video for mashita. my goodness. it was difficult mann. well, not really. it didn't work out burning it into a CD. so i sync it into my mp3. now THAT'S new.

okay bye. need to do more things. look at the time. ark!
xoxo
10:43 PM

Simon says... right side(:
left side(: i should've gone to orchard ¶de my then-beautiful hair. haha.

damn. school's been stressing me out but i'm not doing anything about it. okay, i should really get my sec 3 attitude back SOON. haiis. i'm like gonna an emotional breakdown anytime anywhere. i guess nabila's right. i have too many distractions. hmm. i still need to do art. good thing my sketches are done.

anyway, on the brighter note ( i think ), mashie bought me the Converse bag that i wanted as a birthday present &a handphone .. thingy as a surprise. gawd, i love that girl. but i love her for the goodness of her heart. really. i got a surprise for her. MCS: we have a surprise for her tauu! anything, call me!(: to know the details laa. those who are not in mcs also, can call me. i'll pick up. hahaha. ok nvm.

&besides that fact, life's becoming very very complicated. i must say, i still can't believe i'm sec 4, sitting for my O's this year &trying to keep up social life at the same time. oh wells. i know i should be walking this path but i keep on turning back. will i move forward?! just move! don't look back. there's really not much. or is there? but honey, as long as we're one. no one can bring a two in us.

xoxo
6:37 PM

GCE 'O' Level Art Paper

yeah. that's the first paper i got just in the 2nd week of school. shit shit. i'm suppose to hand in my proposal by today. but it doesn't seem to be happening. mr. j emailed my mum! my goshh! now she knows. great, just great. i have no clue what to do for my 'o' level art. i mean, i need to think .. carefully, slowly, with lots of concentration. i mean, HELLO?! it will affect my lifetime results. gawdd. even if already chose a topic, i dunno what to do with it. interior design? fashion? photography? CANVAS?! eee. why would i wanna do on canvas seyh? i mean, most of my friends are doing on canvas. &like, you did painting for 3 years of your art life. CHANGE WHEN YOU ARE GIVEN THE CHANCE. so therefore, since i'm really not good at drawing and painting, i will.. do something else. i just don't know what. haiii. i'll give it a lil thought .. soon.

today went imperfectly fine. had dictation during english. Social Life in the Insect World. sex between the mantis. exactly what i wanted to hear. mm-hm. anw, i saw new faces in tarian. hmm, room's getting pretty small with the growing number(: haha. this means, we need to get a new room. which is .. i dunno where. ish. we cleared certain things during tarian. which reminds me. we need the annual mcs meeting asap. yeapp. sure do. then, after that. here's where the funny part began. i was walking out of the lift to go to my house. apparently, due to the rain, my shoe had no friction. since the lift has a somewhat .. slope? yeah. i slipped &fell on my butt. it was a slow motion thing. but it hurts. truly, my butt hurts.

i've been smsing nadira about her school life &mine. she really should've gone to kc. i'm so disappointed. haha. she's afraid she'll turn les. hmm, i wonder what she means. being les is not THAT bad. is it? hahaha. but it was super shocking to find out she even had exes. ishh. never in my life i would even believe she interacts with guys. let alone be in a relationship with them. haha. is this the cousin i used to know? no. hahaha.

oh wells, i'm gonna get started on my proposal now. i think.

i.must.not.be.lazy
xoxo
8:47 PM

i'm SICK, again. my goodness! this is my senior year &i'm absent from school! shitte. shitte. my homework's not done. ART needs painting &sculpting. math need calculating &drawing. english need cutting &finding. bio needs .. i don't know. social studies needs studying. AARGHH ! &i'm sick! i'm panicking. yes ! i am ! believe it or not.

okok, chill sufie. chill.

i miss her so much right now. gawdd. not to mention i love her too.
xoxo
12:30 PM

the girls i love whole(:
she loves me loves her.
her funny lyrics &monotonous voice keeps me smiling all the way.
no matter how hard it gets. it's me &you.
Sufie&Mashita.

Bring me back to where i belong(in your arms)

In the morning, had Sec 1 CCA fair. HAD FUNNN! swear. haha. reached Bedok Macs at 6.45am. fell asleep there. haha. then went to school not long later. something funny happened though. gosh, in the morning already make joke. wahaha. so anyway, practiced awhile with the music. gave a speech onstage with aminah infront of parents, students &teachers. haha. but no matter. danced pretty well. i didn't know what happened at the back. coz i was dancing infront &i keep on hearing screw ups. so yeah, don't worry girls. we did our best. we still got to perform in the music room say 5 times? haha. made jokes with them sec 1s. cool lahhhh. haha.

went for lunch with lyza, mashie &syaza(: had fun with them. seriously speaking, made jokes &all. i miss lyza! gawdd! it's been like so long since i hung out with her. haha. went home to change for my outing with nabila(:

wanted to go Sentosa but didn't decided not to. haha. had fun with her going to fun places. left Simpang Bedok at 10.45pm! woowww. haha. went home. oh yeah, bought the rings at.. yeah. this place. got it engraved. one for mashie, one for me(: gosh, i love her from the bottom of my heart.

read post below to know about my Sweet 16(: coz i already am!(: haha.

xoxo
10:23 PM

my brother's not here. oh well(:
Yes, Happy 16th Birthday Sufie(:
my loves!
you just can't run away from their love(:
Swensen's Special(: all mine..

MY OWN SWEET 16(:

7th January '07.

A VERY WONDERFUL DAY !(:
haha. i know y'all can't deny. haha.

today, i celebrated turning 16 with my relatives &family. i had a real great time. we had steamboat. not a big fan of it though but i managed to eat. haha. had other stuffs too. &my relatives started coming. my house got pretty crowded though. haha. talked with my cousins. had fun. &thank you ALL for your wishes! i'm so grateful i have the best friends anyone can have(: somehow, i've never really looked at what time it is though. haha. so, i didn't know what time each event happened.

but i loved the cake cutting part. haha. Swensen's delivered it to my house at 1pm(: okay, that one i know. haha. had loads of dry ice. i like.. took loads of pics. (obviously much more than what i posted) was deeeliiiciousss(: sadly, i only had one pieces of the cake. God knows how much i ate today. haha.

received a whole load of presents! &those lil paper things that you can use to exchange it for pretty things!(: haha. I LOVE THE PRESENTS ! the best presents a 16 year old girl could have. &will have(: still awaiting for my new phone. hahaha. mummy got me an initial pendant with REAL diamonds. cool. got 3 kinds of perfume. LOVE THEM ALL. &loads more.

&i'm beat now(: plus, i think i'm sick, again. urgh! spoils the mood. but no matter i enjoyed it to the fullest!(:

i thank you all for your thoughts &wishes.
i'm afraid i can't type each name here but you will always be remembered.

from the best &only SWEET 16 i had(:
xoxo
9:57 PM

SELAMAT NEW YEAR !(:

(Read story [the hari raya part] below to find out how I got to this part)

So anyway, got home &changed to my new Zara shirt &went back out again with my brother to my grandmother's house again.. okay nvm, waited for people to change. Sprayed on some Ralph Lauren Romance perfume. &waited again. watched the last episode of Cinta Q. the only episode i watch. haha. i dunno. there wasn't much to do since my bro &cuz conquered the laptop. Admad, our cousin-in-law came for a visit from i dunno, Canada? hmm. cool. haha. he followed us out too.

After waiting for a couple of hours, FINALLY we got ourselves moving. OUR FIRST 2007 OUTING !(: haha. before 2007, we decided to spend our last hours of 'o6 at Kovan eating durians. hahaha. it's nice okayy. haha. i forced dear cousin to eat since she doesn't eat any. she took a bite out of it &well, was forced to swallow(: haha. at 11.15pm, we decided to watch fireworks at Marina. but on our way there, it was like.. traffic jam. Le Duh! haha. so we decided to park the cars at Market Street Carpark. i think that's what it was called. haha.

By the time we got to Level 1 from Level 6. we heard

4, 3, 2, 1 ! (or something liddat)

&we heard fireworks. WELL, here was the fun part! my cousin, my uncle, my 3 aunts &my bro RAN all the way to One Raffles Quay buliding to watch the fireworks. it was quite a far journey. haha. crossing road filled with moving cars. scary but fun! haha. i can still run!(: haha. but my feet had blisters. sadd. my mum, my another aunt, my another uncle, Ahmad &another cuz went to the other side of .. i dunno where to watch the fireworks. they said the construction workers opened the gate to allow the people into the construction place to watch the fireworks. wow. they had the BEST view. haha. but back to us. people were like.. "wahhhh"-ing at each firworks. haha. &at the end. i started the "WOOHOOO!" &everyone followed.((: haha. it was funn! my &dear cousin grabbed our first few pics of 2007(: haha. walked all the way to Lau Pa Sat for a drink &satays. first meal of the year? you bet! haha.

After that, made our way back to the carpark. i needed to pee super badlyy. Initially, i wanted to go home to do my bizz. but they wanted to go bowling, so i went to the carpark's toilet downstairs. we wanted to go to the Marina South's bowling but it closed at 2am &it was already 2am. so we tried the 24hours one not too far away. but it was super crowded. my handphone battery went flat on me. so i couldn't sms much. SAD. haha(: anw, the bowling place had a waiting line. &we were number 18! so we decided to go home instead. haha. yeapp.

Reached home nearly 3am. bathed &slept. woke up at 9.05 today. &i went back to sleep. dreamt about.. i dunno what. woke up at 12.15pm. COOL(: haha. 2007 BAYBEH!(:
first picture of 2007(: haha.
i look freaking cute. HAHA! &the cousin who doesn't eat durian.
this is pretty cute too. hahaha.
my family &relatives.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha!(:

Amirah, Suhailah, Sufie. i got new hair btw(: haha. my sec 4 look. HOW NICE. haha. &the baju i'm wearing, i designed it(: haha. but the material when you carry it, it's like paper. VERY light. haha. but nice.
the remix niece. haha.
handsome boy. NOT. hahaha.
yes, my hair sucks. quit laughing.
i don't mind if you love me, like you love her.

at 3.30pm, my family &i made our way to my grandmother's house to celebrate Kambing Kena Sembelih Day. hahaha. okok. Hari Raya Haji. had a fine time there. with my cousins &niece. goshh, her shrieks are SHRIEKYY. haha. showed my cousins Sufi's picture. &they agreed he's cute. haha. Suhailah said Akmal's cuter. erhhhh, okay la. i dunno. haha. & i went home.

(Read story above to find out what I did after this.. haha)

this is a very long post, isn't it?(: haha. Happy New Year to all.

I love you like no other. But there are things that can complicate the other. But no matter, i will always love you. Really, &i'll try my very best to not hurt you. Because you've done so much for me.

xoxo
3:49 PM