18
7th January
Millennia Institute
Half-Portugese, Half-Malay

Shall we cross paths again? I do not know.

08S3

Adilah<33
Afini<33
Alysha<333
Amie<33
Amira<3
Annisa<33

D<33
DiyanaKC<3
Diyana<3

Fared<3
Fee(:

Hafiz(:
Hakim<33

Kak Fatin<3

Lyza<3

Ming Li<33

Nazrina<33

Reyza(:

Sadelena<3
Shersha<33
Sheryl<33
Shima<33

Zahara<33

October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
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April 2007
June 2007
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October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
November 2009
December 2010

xoxo
1:34 AM

Trying too hard to be so good.

It's funny how you got in the way when things were going so well. It's funny how we thought you're so perfect right at that moment, oh wait now you're not. It's just so funny! Now laugh with me! HAHAHA. I won't let you ruin what was happiness once before. I won't let you befriend my weaknesses. Hahaha, you're so not worth it. Whatev.

Okay, you got me. Not!
xoxo
1:44 AM

The perfect wave.

So today I had lunch with the bestfriend at FoodCulture. &I met Adli at Tampines MRT coz we were suppose to meet friends at Taka. But nooooo, apparently we had to cancel due to unforeseen cicumstances. So, Adli & I made a last minute plan to Henderson Waves :D Haha. Nice place. But the stairs was a killer. Haha. It was really really high and you can feel it vibrate coz of people walking. We sat down nice & comfortable until 2 monkeys came and joined in the fun. Haha! Everyone was like amazed by the two hairy creatures. So we made our way back to Redhill MRT & went to Siglap. Favourite place, Mas-ayu.

Kay, after dinner went to Starbucks Siglap. Saw Wan! Wan best okay? :D Nabila joined us after that. && yeah. Went home not long later.

So okayyyy, for Alysha.

Thanks for everything ehhh :D You know I know. Yeahhhh.

xoxo
11:47 PM

xoxo
3:34 PM

So what now?



Now I question myself. I question my capabilities. I question my future. I question why I am here.

I want to be someone to you. I want to be someone who made a difference in your life. I want to feel needed. I want to feel wanted. I want to love. I want to be loved. I want to be everything. But I know I just can't. I feel like I'm asking too much, but what am I asking for?

I believe as long as you live, you're given choices and chances. You make your own choices regardless whether it is right or wrong and chances when you have wronged. And when you get to make choices, that's the time you're finally given to think. Think about the consequences, the everything. If others make the choice for you, you'll have a lifelong regret. So hey, you're big enough to know what's right and wrong.

The longer it takes, the harder it is to quit. You told me you'll do your best.

Harderrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
xoxo
1:51 AM

Prepare to be amazed.

I spent great time with Adli, as he prefers to be called by his name, today. Went to Sentosa with him. Haha. There was ALOT of people. Like, ALOT. But it was fun. Fun time I tell you. Then I met the bestfriend.

Kay, tomorrow I stay home okay? Be good girl.

xoxo
1:02 AM

All I Want For Christmas Is You.



I had CCA on wednesday, like finally. Shall welcome Mairah to the family. Haha. Kay anyways, my body was aching the day after when I was working. My left side only. My pantat especially. Hahaha. I'm okay today (: Need to study summore.

Meeting lili later (:
xoxo
1:44 PM

Wallpaper oi.
PMS.
Ini best.


Morning Break; Coffee & Cigarettes.

I think I'll do this webcam thing on the regular. Hahaha, I enjoy doing stupid things. Stooooopid.

I had dinner with Fad&Nab yesterday. I met Fad at 4.45 at Tampines Starbucks coz both of us were early. Nab had motherdaughter outing. Ham was all the way in Clementi. Ham suggested on going to West Coast and eat the bbq chicken. We agreed since he always comes to the East. But since I couldn't go home late and Nab can only come around 7.30pm, we pretty much disappointed Ham. So in the end, the 3 of us went to Food Culture. Loving the MeeHoonKueh! After that, we played Daytona. wth. Lost twice. Ahhhh, who cares. Nabs semangat to the max. Then we went to Tamp Mart. We walked backwards and laughed alot. It was fun though, decided to race backwards to the busstop. Hahahaha. In the end, both of them sent me home. Sho Shweet!

Todayyyy, my alarm went off at 9am. However, I got out of bed at 9.15am. Bathed at 9.30am. Missed the bus at 9.55am. Took the next bust at 10.10am. Reached KC at 10.35am. So little people came for dance. Where's the commitment, I swear... So yeah. Danced all the way till 2pm. Zea came, woohoo! Decided to go Parkway to eat with her, then suddenly, Syaza just arrived school when we were about to leave. She went to buy her 4NA books. I'm so proud of her. She got promoted from 4NT. Guess she's graduating again (: Next 2 years. So we went back in to KC to buy her books. And the 3 of us, plus Syaza's friend, which would make the 4 of us to Parkway Banquet to eat since I hadn't had anything since I woke up. Ate, talked all the way from 2++ till 4++. Caught up with a lot of stuffs. Although I'm gonna see them again soon. Sad thing was, ... they asked what we're all doing for Countdown.

Zea: I'm going to my boyfriend's place to celebrate his grandmother's birthday remember?
Syaza: Oh yeahhhhh! I'm going party I think. (turns to me) What are you doing for Countdown?
Me: Dance.
Zea & Syaza: Stares, OH YEAHHHHHH! HAHAHAHA.

My Atrika darlings FORGOT I was gonna be performing infront of old people. Hmmmm, it made me feel a whole lot better.

Gonna be missing them much. Kay, having dinner with KL relatives at Blk 136 Bedok Reservoir later. Haha, FATHI, you just asked about it yesterday where it was. Today I'll be going, tomorrow you'll be going. Kay, I try for you the food and tell you if nice or not kay. Alright.


xoxo
5:39 PM

Ignore, really.
That's how I look like chatting with you. Eh serious.
Kissme!KISSSSSSSSSSSMEEEEEEEEEE!

Going out for dinner with mates laterrrrrrrrrr. K bye. Enjoy me!
xoxo
12:37 PM

Respect is much needed in this house.

Today taught me a lot about the R word. Respect. The value that no one values nowadays. I went to watch Singapore Vs Vietnam today. It was definitely a different atmosphere. I strongly advise no children to go there. Everyone was vulgar. It was almost scary. And where was the sportsmanship? Singapore needs to learn to take the stride. I saw one Vietnam supporter being threatened by our Malay Singaporeans. I was just so embarrassed to be one. Really, I'm not being not supportive, but I feel that maybe it's my first time being there live. Seeing what was never shown on television. Pardon me for ruining the world's "beautiful" game.

And in my recent post, the first line was about respect said by my friend, or so I say friend. But what I heard about today clearly showed they were just words. Words that lead to no action. Words that could either make it or break it. I think you need to learn from what you say, not say what you learn.

Always talking about you got.
xoxo
12:27 AM

Gooooooooooodmorning!




xoxo
2:33 PM

Don't let it rain.


The song I had the best time with you. (okay, don't watch the vid. It's just the song. I don't think he has an official vid, does he?)

I realise my blog has turned to the boring side. I guess next year when I look back at all my now recent posts, I won't remember much of it coz there's not much info. Trust me, when I wanna blog about something, I think about it. But when I actually get started, I say nothing but just briefly stating. Booooooring!

Sitting here at 3 in the morn, not sleepy, just thinking and pondering. How lucky I am that I don't have to think a lot about things, stress about things I don't even need to be stressing about, overdoing things. Maybe coz it's the holidays. Oh well. That aside, I'm lucky, I'm blessed, I'm grateful. :) Love You God. Thank You for the wonderful people you have given me. Thank You for bringing my life as much peace as possible. Thank You for letting me make right decisions, and wrong ones that brings me to the right ones. I wish to be as close to You as possible.

Things may not go our way at times, but I think that's how it's meant to be. Things get complicated coz it's meant to be that way. People hurt us, coz it's meant to be that way. We grow, we learn. We learn to mature ourselves. We learn to accept things no matter how difficult it is. Moreover, we learn to accept ourselves more because we've managed to accept something beyond our desire. Love yourself, then you love everyone, then someone will love you.

It gets harder when we say it is. Just sleep through the pain. Relax & Breathe. Because no matter how you're feeling, the person who just typed out this whole chunky post loves you and will be there for you. I'll be there for you, friends. Even if we have opposing ideas, just know that I'm trying to let you see in a different perspective, divert from yours and let you see what you have chose not to see.

Goodnight, and love tourists. They make money in Singapore!
xoxo
2:48 AM

Kenneth & Zayd's Party. Girlzzzzzz FREE!

A friend once said "In every relationship, it's all about respect. Even as friends."

Kenneth's party was at first awkward, then it got relaxing, then it got real hot, then it got boring coz I had to go home :(

Danced with baby. Hahaha, I swear, first time. Every time I ask him dance, don't want. Tsktsk, yesterday was ultra HOT. Zomg, sorry baby, it just keeps replaying in my mind. Hot!

Pictures of us soon yes? Okay.

Singapore Flyer.

I went on Singapore Flyer today. with my relatives. LOVE THEM ALL. Had lots of laughter. I swear. Laughed ALOT. Pictures later!

Watching Singapore Vs. Vietnam tomorrow with MI Family. Kay bye.

I think you just hit the X
xoxo
12:23 AM

EAT ME! EAAAAAAAT MEEEEE!
Gayboy.
Bring me to life.
Eat shit.
Celebrity Gayboy's Assistant.
NUM, Camper, Broadway
I have sexy legs hahahaha.
Group Photo
Group Photo


The day we all rilekrilek at Vivocity. With help of a tub of Darkchocolateicecream and chocolatessss. Best bodoh!
xoxo
12:58 PM

Disturbia.





xoxo
12:47 PM

I'm real.

Everything feels different when I'm with you. My life feels complete and there's nothing else that I want, just you. Just like when you ask, "What do you want for your birthday?" I say, "Nothing." I really do mean it. I just want you. I don't need anything else to make me feel contented than I already am.

Feels like I'm the luckiest girl alive. I've seen what others been through and I'll never take you for granted coz there's no one like you. I'll keep holding your hand. I wanna be there for you everytime. And whatever that has happened, I just hope you know I'm always here for you. Always.

You make me feel safe. Your hugs make me feel loved. Your kisses make me smile everytime. You're just the best. What more can I ask for? I love you more than anything else in this world.

The world is awesome. But you're better.
xoxo
12:57 AM

The way that we love.



Yesterday.

I watched a rugby match in school. MI against GreenridgeSec. It got kinda scary. Haha. Erh, the Greenridge people were all malay cept one Indian. And they were mats. Like seriously. Attention seekers, by the way. Watched with Aly. Apparently, we had a lot of comments about the game and such.

Oh oh, I think the MI Fullback/Winger very very very very cute. Hahaha. Scared to ask for his number. HAHA. Kay, alrights. I hope you noticed me sitting there watching you :D

Worked today.

Happy 8th, baby! I'm extremely glad you're mine.
xoxo
12:40 AM

Please feel free to watch this vid of Afiq being ... Afiq. Lenny promised not to upload it, but I didn't (: I'll upload another vid if I get it of us Improvisasi merepek one. Modern Fairytale. Hahaha. Lame.

Oh yes, this vid was taken on Friday. During dance. He was talking about how the Thai people very enthusiastically showed their victory and support during the canoeing competition. Hahaha.


xoxo
5:40 PM

Summary of my day.

-Out with baby.
-Watched Twilight. BE JEALOUS. BE VERY JEALOUS. sneak preview (:
-Danced. (Improvisasi never felt so good, seriously.)


xoxo
1:51 AM

Answers to an easy question.

It was all that's needed to know what's coming. Hallucination, a destructive imagination. I never thought this is in. Never thought I would be involved. But I am. I need to dance again, I need to show my hallucination. I need to dance again. Dance again. Dance again.

With my arms so high up, my body feels like it's flying. With my feet spinning my body around, I feel like I'm in another dimension. I just NEED the dance floor right now. Please.

Is God trying to take away what matters to me most? Oh please God, No!
xoxo
12:14 AM

There's deception when it comes to protection.

I deleted my previous post because a complete pitiful waste of my blog space. Not that it has no space but it was just a pitiful sight anyway. Unnecessary. Yes, that's the word. I'll just keep reminding myself not to care, I really don't.

So anyway, I'm getting ready to get to work. It's 5.47am on my watch. Zzzz. I finally fell asleep at 2, I think coz I couldn't sleep. Oh wells.

For everyone's notices, I'm not in the council. I didn't make it through the interview and I didn't make it through at all coz of my advancement. Hmm, rather disappointed but what else did I expect. I went through countless interviews about leadership eversince primary school. Never got through once before. Never. I don't know. Is it a curse? Mmm. Kay, whatever. Hope everyone else is fine and dandy. I spent how much of my time on my internship just to not get through. Upsetting.
xoxo
5:45 AM

Time out.

I've been trying to blog since just now. Failed. Haha. Spent the day with nabz and her sis. Went to the gym at Villa Marina. Best. Long time never go gym. But nothing beats swimming after gyming and it was drizzling. Wow, the water was cold but nice. The jacuzzi was warm and had a lying down thingy, so it was very very relaxing with droplets of water cooling down your face while your body warms up with the vigorous water. Bestest. Had starbucks after that, embarrassing story shall not elaborate. &I went home. (:

Working tomorrow. Can't wait. Hahaha. Serious.

Just want you.
xoxo
10:40 PM

Corus Hotel.
Dad&his bestfriend
Shirley Temple.
Aunt&Bro. his new hair.
Father&Mother. (eh who do I look like uh?)
I-bags.
@Tony Roma's!
near our hotel.
near our hotel.
lembu sembelih.
in efforts of trying to make my hair look brighter.

&they are all un-editted not nice raw pikchas.

I miss you, KL.
(&this is the beginning of a pretty long post.. I think)

I had a very long trip to KL. From Saturday till last night. Did ya miss me ? :) Betcha did :D I was due back in Singapore on Tuesday but apparently we couldnt get an earlier ticket back. We had to take the 10.30pm coach back. Reached Singapore just this morning at 4. No, reached home at 4. Slept at 4.30, woke up now to meet Baby since I haven't met him for like a week!

When we reached KL, it was night time already, so we had dinner at the hotel. Concorde, by the way. I ate SO much, I tell you. My stomach was gonna burst. Well, it felt like it anyway. I slept with my aunt for the first night. Didn't sleep well. No, didn't sleep at all in fact. And I didn't sleep on the way to KL coz my cramps were being such a pain in my ass. Then, the next morning, breakfast and set off to buy tickets back home. Yadeeyadeeyaaa. My uncle picked us up and brought us to Masjid india there. My mum and aunt wanted to shop and visit my aunt who has a shop there. I, of course, wasn't in the mood to shop there, sat with my uncles, dad and bro at the coffeeshop and had prata. Or they would call it, roti canai. Haha. Then we went to Sogo. Hahaha. I was like, whaaaat? I thought we were going to KLCC. Haha, happy not happy, I got something from there also. So, yeah. I shopped like a lot for the whole trip! After Sogo, which I think my mum met a lot of familiar faces. Haha. Kat Singapore tak jumpa, kat KL jugak bertemu. My uncle picked us up again and dropped us off at KLCC. I really would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has helped to transport us everywhere. Hahaha. Funny part was, I didn't buy anything at KLCC. Not even food. Because I think my this period has lessen my appetite. I mean, I would eat but I will feel full even when I eat little, but I'll still eat. Shrugs. Well, we took a cab back to our hotel where we rested for awhile. Around 6, we set off for Pavillion! Best. I like that place. The one place that has a Paris Hilton boutique. As far as I know anyway. We walked from our hotel to the mall. Haha, it's really I swear not that far. It's like walking from school to Bukit Batok MRT. My mum complained of her leg being in pain and we should've taken the monorail or cab. Hmm, it's really not that far. We had dinner first, guess where! TONY ROMA'S!!!! Hahaha. I absolutely LOOOOOOVE that place. Although I didn't eat the ribs and all. My bro did. And I had a little bit of it. It's been so long since I had red meat. Diet ah. HAHAHA. And it was sooooo goooooood! Love the barbeque sauce. I felt full again. Of course. Then we walked around. It was very nice, really. Pretty mordern. I got some things at Forever 21 coz they had a freaking SALE! Best. Then, we bought carbohydrates(bread and such) and went back to our hotel via the monorail. My bro didn't like the monorail coz they didn't have safety and he was like "Screw monorail! Screw KL!" Yeah, whatever.

OH & I FORGOT TO MENTION. My bro dyed his hair. His first hair dye after 23 years. And he keeps on asking me if his hair colour can be seen. Wah, damn irritating. DAAAAMN Irritating. He did at home, but it couldn't be seen that much, so he bought a lighter colour at KLCC and did it at the hotel. Tangan gatal betul ah. Then coz my hair lighter than his what, but now, mine looks pretty much more natural than his. Yeah, damn mat sia.

At night, I insisted on following my dad, bro and uncles to sheesha. So I tried KL sheesha. I regretted. I swear. I usually get this hangover feeling for Singapore sheesha, but KL's sheesha gave me this drunk feeling. I felt like throwing up plus, my head was throbbing. They had to send me back to the hotel first before going off somewhere else. Haha, kental. Yeah whatever.

I went back to kampung to celebrate Hari Raya Haji there. So did my family from my dad's side. I mean, we're all family, so we're pretty close-knitted and they know my mum's side relatives. No, my kampung not at some ulu place. It's actually at KL. Yeah, kampung in KL. Eh, serious. And they do the korban at the house. They don't korban kambing, they korban lembu. So by the time I got there I saw a dead sembelih-ed lembu. I got to watch it get slaughtered. Bahhh. I'll upload the pics after my bro has done so. It was a sad, disgusted, happy-not-happy feeling when I watched it. And I kinda got reminded of Nicole. "Your food have a face." I think if she were to see what I saw, she'll wail and run around like a mad woman. The house infront haven't slaughter yet, and I got to hear the cow's agony. Cow eh. Big sia. I had no appetite to eat since I ate at the hotel. Then when we wanted to leave, I saw my long distance (whom I have no idea who they are) washing the cow's stomach. Okay, here's the thing. I first smelled something not so pungent but still abit unpleasant. When I saw what they were doing, I had this really uncomfortbaloe feeling in my stomach. Inside the cow's stomach was like green half-digested grass. It was like a dirty green, in a form of erm... you know when you eat oatmeal? Yeah, imagine your oatmeal green and smelly. HAHAHA. Then we went off to my gramma's side at USJ. Before heading to Midvalley. Haha, there I shopped again. After that had Toast Box with my dad. My bro went off to have Dome. Bahahaha. Dinner at Kenny Rogers. Trust me, for the whole trip, I never went hungry. Always full.

Tuesday. Had breakfast and my mum's cousin came to pick us up. Haven't met her in decades. I like their house. And they have 2 cats! Meow. I want. Haha, they sent us back to kampung. where we waited to go back home. My gramma and all came over coz they were spending the night there. Zakiah was there so I had fun time playing with her. The house was pretty full. Lively, I must say. I've been there since I was young. I think since I was a baby. Then, 9.30pm, set off to Pasarakyat where our coach was and went home. The coach pretty nice uh. Got entertainment all. Wanted to watch movie but my eyes couldn't hold on any longer.

I didn't sleep though but I just rested. I haven't had good sleep yet. Until I reached home. But by the time it was 10am, the renovation started. ARGH! Couldn't sleep anymore. I have to go now, Or I'll be late. Kay. Take care. Love reading? Read somemore kay?

xoxo
12:11 PM

Change.

It's funny how time flies so fast. I've been reading back my post, those from 2006 and all. It's nice to read what I went through. But what made me curious was how I post. My posts used to be so long filling in every details about my life. Easy to read and such. And now, I realise, my posts have been rather short, and not very interesting.

I'm turning 18 soon. In exactly 1 month and 2 days. Eighteen. My blog has been here since I was 15. I think as a person, I've changed pretty much. And might I say, my English has been soaring down since I had no Mrs. Ng & English lessons. Haha, I realised so much. My life was up in the skies and then sometimes in turmoil. My blog is all about true teenage accounts.

It's December 2008! I think I've not matured to my fullest but I think I can make some right decisions. I think it's time. It's time to change where necessary.

metarphosis.
xoxo
10:53 AM

Stand up for myself.

I don't know why I'm always the one to apologise first. Always. No, wait. I'm always the ONLY one to apologise. Even when I'm not at fault, I'm always the one apologising because I don't wanna waste what we had. Since you're busy with schoolwork and all, fine. I understand. But I guess you have new friends, you tend to forget what's behind. Don't I have the right to feel angry, upset, frustrated too? You're not the only one you know. I know you're trynna make your point, but have you ever tried to listen to mine?
xoxo
4:44 PM

Cathy's nightgown
D, Hakim
GO ORYX! (sial uhhh, orbs sia)
I kinda stole this picture because I wanted to show you guys the slides. The far left slides are the ones that make your adrenaline rush like hell.


Swim in joy.

I am sick, again. I lost count of how many times I fell sick this year. Urgh, but best part is, I've NEVER skipped school. (:

Let me just update you on what happened yesterday; pictures later. I thought yesterday was gonna be a daaaaamn borinng day considering baby's leaving me again. He left already. Hmm. So, thank God for being online and Hakim sudden urge to go out, the four of us, Hakim, me, D and Cathy went swimming at Anchorvale Swimming Complex.

It was absolutely fun, I tell you! The slides, even though they are short, not like those in Sunway Lagoon or whatever, it feels like your heart is at your throat! I swear! &bikini's are not meant for slides, trust me on that. Haha. We went like qiute a few times, ultra fun! I remember the open slides, I took the blue one and Hakim was at the yellow one, I closed my eyes and by the time I splashed in the water, I felt myself on top of Hakim, Hahaha, sorry ah. I didn't know how I did that also. The open slides look like nothing, but I tell you, it's not much different from the closed one. Oh yes, since there were four of us, we all kinda raced at the open slide. I think it's very unfair. Hahaha. Coz I remember Hakim saying, "Am I winning? Am I winning?" When he was clearly infront already. Too bad there was no black slide coz then we all have our houses. as you guessed, D took the red one. Haha. Garnet uh bro?

Then we had dinner at Jalan Kayu. What a nice way to end the day. (: &till now, I have absolutely no idea how LRT works. Thank God I live in the East. Haha. I was suppose to take 854 to my gramma's house coz I planned a sleepover, but I felt sick and lazy so I alighted at my busstop instead and went home. Bahhhhhhhhhhh.

Urgh, my throat is very urgh right now. So is my nose. Urgh.

SAPPHIRE!!!
xoxo
10:46 AM

I want my hair to be just like hers! &I think she's absolutely gorgeous. Can I have your hair now?
xoxo
2:25 PM

Losing something.

You know, I've never tried to sound pathetic, or be pathetic in my blog. Sometimes, they say, a blog is where you can pour your heart out and never back down. Besides the fact that I talk about my day, my boyfriend half the time, I've never really talked about any problems I had. Okay, see.. I'm starting to sound pathetic already. Ahhh, shucks. I hate this.

Well, then again, you'll never know who your real friends are. Really. How they really treat you. How they feel about you. You know from the outside but really, what's inside?

I will still live in denial, I will continue to lie to myself.
xoxo
11:06 AM

&they are the ones who made my once in a lifetime experience happen. <3
xoxo
6:02 PM