18
7th January
Millennia Institute
Half-Portugese, Half-Malay

Shall we cross paths again? I do not know.

08S3

Adilah<33
Afini<33
Alysha<333
Amie<33
Amira<3
Annisa<33

D<33
DiyanaKC<3
Diyana<3

Fared<3
Fee(:

Hafiz(:
Hakim<33

Kak Fatin<3

Lyza<3

Ming Li<33

Nazrina<33

Reyza(:

Sadelena<3
Shersha<33
Sheryl<33
Shima<33

Zahara<33

October 2006
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December 2010

Promises never last forever.

It doesn't hurt anymore when I look at your pictures, the memories of what we used to have. But that doesn't mean I don't care. I don't wish to speak of you when others ask, because it's redundant. Love songs that makes us women sound weak at the sound, the touch, the taste of love makes me feel like we women can't stand up for ourselves. Because I did, and I know others can too.

Meeting Nabz, Fadz and Abahz for dinner ya. Parents outz. Missing handball already!
xoxo
4:52 PM

Lost.

From a far away distance, I'll see you. And it will all stop there.

Handball was great, productive but tiring. Right arm muscle aching. Imbalance uh. And so the YOG boy's squad was at MI training as well. But funny thing was Amal and her pedo moment. Haha. Ady aye mate ? :) Hahaha. KC Family day was quite boring cos B&J's finished Starbucks was uh? Subway cookies were expensive. Candy floss was a rip-off. Sat down at McDonald's with Nab and wrote a speech for my mum's surprise birthday dinner of which I not only made her cry when I read it out, I made all my aunts cry. :D


xoxo
2:08 PM

Heart.

SEL camp again. Ah well. Uhm, the Life Connections one was okayyyy. I fell asleep during the Financial Literacy lecture. I swear I didn't mean for it to happen. Mr. woke me up and gave me a sweet. Some cinnamon sweet. Err, rejected it. Haha. But the Cashflow game is super fun! :) Played for 2&half hours but I still couldn't get out of the rat race. Hahaha.

Hmm, I'm over it. But my heart just sank when I saw you there. Trust me, I don't know why. My hands shivered, I closed my eyes and breathed slowly. Gained back my composure and finally took the courage to unintentionally get arm length close to you. I don't wanna question my feelings. Not now anyway.

Handball was tiring ya. I injured myself. Ah well. No match tomorrow but I'm excited for Saturday :)
xoxo
9:40 PM

I don't want it anymore.

Dear God,

I don't wanna feel this way anymore. Please if it's not meant to be, just rip the feeling away. It hurts to hurt. But I guess, this is your way of testing me. I guess this lesson has definitely taught me to be stronger, learn to adapt, learn to let go... So, do I hurt no more now?

Love,
Sufie.

GP was good :) I really hope I pass.

Labels: never broken never defeated

xoxo
4:52 PM

Ben's crazy beach party! :D
love class! &Matthew.
love class, again! &Matthew, again.
Selina! &Matthew, again again.
Selina, again!

09S4 is just the greatest.

I believe we had tons of fun! Although I had appointment and thought I couldn't make it, I did eventually. Didn't wanna miss out on anything. Speaking of appointment Inflammation of the something which I cannot pronounce. Hmm, don't like the sound of it anyway. I hope it's really nothing big.

Anyway, beach party was great! Cake smashing on Ben was better! Water was the best! :D Now I have a sunburn which hurts like crazeeeeeee! And a bikini tanline. I got darker, not tanner. Sadly. Khalis says I look like him now which is sooooo annoying! I don't wanna be as dark as him! Kiren says sunburns are cool which is sooooo not. Oh and a guy asked for my number -.- because I was wearing a bikini. How shallow can he get?! AND he happened to be Fareez's platoon mate and Fareez was there too! But he didn't tell me so I didn't know we're gonna end up on the same beach. But yeah, long story behind that. Wasn't interested of course. Bah.

After that we had B&J at Vivo :) Not so great confession session. It felt like history repeating itself. I swear. Really and I hope the repetition does not continue. Took the train with Matthew since he lives in Pasir Ris. I hope we have another beach party soon! After my sunburns cool down of course.

Dear God,
I hope it's a sign. I hope that everything for everyone will be okay. I know I'll be okay. Because I'm feeling great! But I hope it stays this way. But why, why am I hoping for a lot of things? Why is it that when I hope, I'll end up disappointing myself cos the results turn out to be the opposite of what I really want? Why is it that we always demand for a lot of things? I'll be okay, I know I will. But I'm still hoping. Of course. But I'll never be the person she ever was.

Love,
Sufie.

xoxo
9:30 PM

Have you got tickets for the show?

Malaysia is gooooood :) Love spending time with my family but I kinda miss home. Sorry for the people that I didn't inform of my absence. Hahaha, upload pikchas when I get home aite? Oh yes, and the MIOO rehearsal too. I love this pikcha of me and Ram. I mean... it looks supaaaa awesome! Really, I even put it as my phone wallpaper. RAM! You should be honoured. Hahaha.

And I'm awfully sorry to Fareez for ditching him on Friday and Amal too! :( Shucks I feel superrr bad. Cos he rushed to meet me after his book out. But he was all the way in Lim Chu Kang but I was somewhere else. :((( Shucks mannnn. Sorry bro! And Amal, goodness I'll brush up my throwing skills! Promise :)

Going home tonight! Love you all!
xoxo
1:41 PM

Star Trek Gala Premiere.

Watched the star trek gala premiere. I know it's super geeky for me but I had loads of fun! Brought Kiren along. I'll upload pikchas when he uploads it. Hahaha, he's a really nice guy. Like, any girl's kind of guy. I mean, not that I like him or anything. I don't. I still need time to sort out my feelings in case anyone's wondering. But because he was so nice to me, I felt a lil uncomfortable. Haha serious! I felt like I owe him ALOT. Like really. He treated me to Ben&Jerry's ice-cream, nachos and cab fare. Super nice right! Omg.

And I think today went quite well with Lilah and I zoning out during Bio. Haha! Enzymes can be such a bore! My hair was tied to the side and suddenly I started smelling my hair.. HAHA.

Lilah: Sufie, best? Haha.
Me: (look, came back to reality)

We were trying so hard to control our laughter because te whole class was quiet. HAHAHA. Then she wrote on a piece of paper..

Lilah: I was thinking, "dia ni betul2 bored"

I replied her: I think the smell of my hair was more interesting than the things that came out from his mouth.

HAHAHA.

I'm really tired. I swear :( MIOO is really taking a toll on me. Been having dance practice everyday. Oh goodness. Thank goodness for the holidays :)

Okay, alright. I'm gone now. Goodenightde!
xoxo
10:35 PM

If you were wondering

This would be my first public declaration of how I truly feel. I'm guessing people are dying to know how I'm feeling. I'm okay, actually :) They tell me don't be sad, take care, don't do anything stupid... Don't worry. I'm doing fine. I've never felt stronger compared to my previous previous breakup. Yup, I guess in every relationship either building it or breaking it, you learn. Every step of the way. I tell myself everyday, the next day would be better than the previous.

Whether I'm pretending or I am really strong inside, it doesn't matter. Let it be, let me be. Because I'm okay.

Just in case you were wondering.
xoxo
7:09 PM